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The CAFE NEAR ME Tour

Part 1

Greetings from AMTRAK.

By the time you read this, I’ll probably be somewhere in Washington, train-rocked and coffee-jittered.  So far I’ve met two Matts and two Mikes, and yes—you’re going to hear about all of them.


Kansas City: 3/3.

Great downtown, super walkable, and it rained the entire time. I hit up The Rino for an open mic and it was off the chain. Total chaos in the best way.

Chicago: also 3/3.

Another off the chain rating. I made a new friend: Matt, a 24-year-old Aussie law grad on a post-uni gap year. We met at the hostel, hit the nicest city beach I didn't know existed, and attended the open mic at Jarvis Square Tavern that night.  The scene? Dogs and actual snakes (yes, pythons) just vibing. It was trans night, but they still let me play a tune. Shoutout to that whole room for being the coolest.

Twin Cities: bark-level off the chain.

I found a new home base. My host, Laarni, was a sweet Filipino woman with two sons—one of whom was painting a hyper-realistic still life of some pears. Off. The. Chain.

I went to a blues open jam at a place called Showtime and—MAN—it was the coolest place I’ve ever played. The stage and lights transformed everyone into a psychadelic psychadelic rockstar. Real magic.


Matt (a different Matt) runs the place and booked me for an afternoon slot the next day on his psychadelic little stage in the cafe (see photo below). Off the chain.

Matt’s employee Mike joined us for a park walk and a meal, and they even sent me off with a bag of apples and a ride to the station. Legends.


The other Mike took a photo of me in an orange shirt playing guitar on the train.

That shot?

Off the TRAIN.

FOR YOU

Placebo Pussy

A pathway to the Evolved Lover

From the mind of one of America’s top confirmed bachelors comes a genre-warping intimacy manifesto for the post-desire generation. Placebo Pussy is a slippery blend of memoir, theory, and softcore fiction—inviting readers to peel back the layers and locate their own Placebo Pussy.

“Placebo starts in the mind,” champions Ry, “and ends in the pussy.”

Crude and unusual statements like those in the book have challenged modern intellect, and intimacy coaches throughout the world are trying to catch up.


“Weaponized romance for people who should not be trusted but somehow are.”
— Dr. Gleb Moss, author of
Erotic Neutrality

Author’s Note-

Since the first publishing of my book in 2013, dozens have taken the journey to find their PP.  In this 2025 revision I have included hundreds of pages of manuscripts and annotated diagrams too underdeveloped and fringe for most publications.  

And now, I have just one question— Are you a little RyCurious?


Taken from the award winning book and needle, Placebo Pussy